Moronic Statements and "Research"...

are being made pretty regularly by the media.  I doubt that this is any kind of newsflash on my part.  

If they say it on the news, well it must be true, right?  Right.  It's not necessarily wrong, but it's very slanted and most often overblown and insensitive.  News, at its core, is gossip.  It's the kind of information that gets people off at the expense of others.  On the one hand, it's the force that drives fear and trembling.  On the other hand, it gathers close to its bosom shallow ways of thinking and events that give everyone the warm fuzzies.  It pushes and it pulls.  It's totally bipolar.

So, I guess the earth's axis has been screwed with -- thanks a lot earthquake in Chile!  Never mind all the people in Chile who are homeless and without food and water, we have to deal with a skewed earth's axis.  Never mind the highest percentage behind all this volatile nature and disaster happens to be us -- no doubt, we, the catalysts are sitting at home in our cozy little neighborhoods doing our cozy little thing. 

So what kind of constructive reporting of a slight shift in the earth's axis do for us, the public at large?  Do all the people who use paper and plastic start recycling?  Do all the people start downsizing and using less?  Do all the people stop feeding their kids hormone-infused food that gives them terrible allergies and weakened immune systems as well as breasts by the age of 7?  No.

No, we don't do a damn thing but tremble on our butts for a few seconds, our glassy emotionally stunted eyes blinking at the wonder of something called...the...earth's...axis...?

What would it mean to discover that the shift was something akin to a zillionth of a second?  On the one hand, it sounds absurd, on the other, despite how fractional it is, it should be a matter for concern.  Thanks news for helping us out here with the facts minus the info.

What would it actually mean for us, if we were to take some action and do a little research on our own?  Things just wouldn't be much fun anymore because we'd actually have to open our conscious minds and discern a thing or two and try to reverse a dozen or more.  We might actually start spending our hard-earned dollars on something worthwhile, like organic milk and free range eggs.  We'd have to let go of a lot of things that we've been misconstruing in life as being important.  We'd have to become more proactive and get our kids involved in something more emotionally substantive than the latest neighborhood amusement park.

Now, on the flip side, come gather close all my fearful and semi-conscious humans.  The top 10 most safe and cozy suburbs for families is sure to be what every person who has lost his/her job and is struggling to put food on the table wants to be informed about!  That's good news, right?!  Good news for the bubble dwellers.  But does the average American need to know that for most of these top 10 burbs the average median income is $110,000 and the home is worth three times that? 

First of all, who is buying a home these days?  Who has a job, let alone a good-paying one?  Over the last year job loss has tanked.  The same people who feed us the reality are also feeding us that which is unrealistic.  They certainly aren't helping us put food on the table.  In fact, the very person reporting this garbage is said individual, in said suburb, dwelling in said bubble.  All of the above.

Where is the sensitivity to the difficulty and the loss of the times we are currently living?  It's mindless babbling into the wind.

It's probably best we the people who are caught up in our cozy little neighborhoods don't think too long and hard about things like the environment, our real home.  After all, as far as we're concerned, it will be here forever!  It will still be here when we breathe our last breath, that much is certain.

The news is garbage.  It is garbage for those of us who are actually in tune with our surroundings.  Those of us who are actively taking part in change get nothing from the news.  What we get is insulted.  The people who reap any benefit from the news aren't doing anything and aren't likely to start doing anything any time soon.  For them, the news has no affect one way or another because they just don't ever go there.

Nonetheless, some of us (namely myself) who are actively taking part in saving the planet still get angered by this sort of reporting.  We fume about it for a while.  We certainly get more animated than the average glassy-eyed individual who doesn't even recognize the earth let alone the importance of its axis.  How can the report of the change of such a thing make any difference to those people living in their wasted space homes and two-car garages that house not one, but two or three of the very thing that is destroying our ozone? 

In retrospect, who benefits from the reporting of the daily news?  No one that I can see.

Q: What Planet is this Person from?

A:  Planet Scary.  Yes, that's right.  It's not a planet of this galaxy.  My prediction?  Plummeting demise from the starry skies of her diamond universe.  My advice?  Stick to the scrapbooking.  Save the "life coaching" for your next bowel movement.

Pocket Rocket?!

Hello people!  Women, especially!  Granted, I doubt if any SANE woman over 25 is carrying one of these, but really? 

If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's a tube of lip gloss called a 'Pocket Rocket' (put on the market by some store called 'Urban Decay' whose motto is 'Beauty with an Edge') and of course, it comes in various shades of color.  The cap has a "cute" little man, who when the package is held one way, is fully dressed (in a very unnattractive outfit I might add) and when held at a different angle is standing in his underwear.  It is difficult to say, from the videos I've watched reviewing the product, as to whether this cute little man actually has his own pocket rocket.

You know, it would have been far more appealing (to me at least) to have used kittens or puppies wearing hats or mittens.  What's further demeaning, for women, is that it's kinda cute that the ONLY MAN they can get, is a metaphorical penis that they carry around in their pockets all day and slather all over their lips.  After all, what other kind of man is there?  We don't need men anyway.  We just need a goo filled container to give us the warm fuzzies.

Can I just say, again, demeaning?  Not only is 'Pocket Rocket' the potty talk language of a sixth grader, (Yes, as a WOMAN I'm about to say) it is also demeaning to men (as we all should know by by now what a pocket rocket is, though from the look and sound of them, these stupid young females who review them on YouTube do not.) It demeaning to women for companies to offer, for sale, such ridiculous products for us to put on our faces!  So ladies, you wanna 'Pocket Rocket' eh?  Well, I suppose it is cheaper than a sex change.

Let's just take a look at anatomy while we're talking about it.  What happens to women when the cold air hits a certain area of their bodies?  Very embarrassing, if you happen to NOT BE WEARING a padded bra, or ANY bra.  It's a similar situation for men.  They too, get visible physical problems thar very often, cannot be covered up.  Really?  Yeah.  Something that sticks up or sticks out can only be covered so much and we all still know what it is.

Down bitches, down.  I know, I know -- ya'll want both sex organs.  And I know, I'm just an old-fashioned cow who doesn't know how to have a little fun out here in the desolate field of mediocrity and mundanity.  I'm so sorry that I don't feel like slathering a creamy irridescent, mauvy pocket rocket all over my lips.  I need to sail the shallow, murky waters of the post-feminism boat whose sails point downward and rudder scrapes the bottom of that which NO LONGER MAKES RATIONAL SENSE. 

While we're on the subject of post-feminism, I'm sure most post-feminists would just love to see a chapstick for men called A.TT.I.C? (know what I mean, I learned that phrase on the playground in grade school...heehee) that comes in flavors like grapefruit, cherries jubilee, or red hot.  No doubt they've long since had that product, which is now, a seedy underground urban decayed product.  But what a shame to not really know what the guys are carrying.   Oh well, the moronic, materialistic types are so tickled pink with their 'Pocket Rockets' that they just can't help but feel so cute as though they've somehow evened the score.

Happy 60th Birthday Mummie!!!

Hey, this kinda looks like dad with my glasses on!  HAHA!!!