HurricaneHetta.com

Hello people! Women, especially! Granted, I doubt if any SANE woman over 25 is carrying one of these, but really?

If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's a tube of lip gloss called a 'Pocket Rocket' (put on the market by some store called 'Urban Decay' whose motto is 'Beauty with an Edge') and of course, it comes in various shades of color. The cap has a "cute" little man, who when the package is held one way, is fully dressed (in a very unnattractive outfit I might add) and when held at a different angle is standing in his underwear. It is difficult to say, from the videos I've watched reviewing the product, as to whether this cute little man actually has his own pocket rocket.

You know, it would have been far more appealing (to me at least) to have used kittens or puppies wearing hats or mittens. What's further demeaning, for women, is that it's kinda cute that the ONLY MAN they can get, is a metaphorical penis that they carry around in their pockets all day and slather all over their lips. After all, what other kind of man is there? We don't need men anyway. We just need a goo filled container to give us the warm fuzzies.

Can I just say, again, demeaning? Not only is 'Pocket Rocket' the potty talk language of a sixth grader, (Yes, as a WOMAN I'm about to say) it is also demeaning to men (as we all should know by by now what a pocket rocket is, though from the look and sound of them, these stupid young females who review them on YouTube do not.) It demeaning to women for companies to offer, for sale, such ridiculous products for us to put on our faces! So ladies, you wanna 'Pocket Rocket' eh? Well, I suppose it is cheaper than a sex change.

Let's just take a look at anatomy while we're talking about it. What happens to women when the cold air hits a certain area of their bodies? Very embarrassing, if you happen to NOT BE WEARING a padded bra, or ANY bra. It's a similar situation for men. They too, get visible physical problems thar very often, cannot be covered up. Really? Yeah. Something that sticks up or sticks out can only be covered so much and we all still know what it is.

Down bitches, down. I know, I know -- ya'll want both sex organs. And I know, I'm just an old-fashioned cow who doesn't know how to have a little fun out here in the desolate field of mediocrity and mundanity. I'm so sorry that I don't feel like slathering a creamy irridescent, mauvy pocket rocket all over my lips. I need to sail the shallow, murky waters of the post-feminism boat whose sails point downward and rudder scrapes the bottom of that which NO LONGER MAKES RATIONAL SENSE.

While we're on the subject of post-feminism, I'm sure most post-feminists would just love to see a chapstick for men called A.TT.I.C? (know what I mean, I learned that phrase on the playground in grade school...heehee) that comes in flavors like grapefruit, cherries jubilee, or red hot. No doubt they've long since had that product, which is now, a seedy underground urban decayed product. But what a shame to not really know what the guys are carrying. Oh well, the moronic, materialistic types are so tickled pink with their 'Pocket Rockets' that they just can't help but feel so cute as though they've somehow evened the score.