Lead Anyone?

Ok, I'm starting to get freakin' paranoid about the lead contents found in everyday things. Now, it has been discovered that we ladies are likely carrying around, on our shoulders, a lead infested handbag.

What is going on here! I'm so sick of this crap. I just want to carry a bag with my sh** in it! Is that too much to ask without having exposed my fetus to unnecessary harm? What about myself? Am I going to have cancer or brain damage by the time I reach retirement because of my freakin' handbag?

First of all, who is making these things? Probably China. Who is buying them? We are. When in the heck are we going to start making our own stuff? All I hear is the drama from the media informing us of the latest lead-containing product that we're all carrying or that our kids are playing with and putting in their mouths. We're licking, sniffing, carrying these things around unknowingly in our reverie, zombies floating in the breeze.

Can you imagine working for the FDA or the EPA or any other food, environmental, or safety coalition? How can any person who works for either of them put their heads to the pillow at night without feeling the worst imaginable panic, ever? I would shoot myself.

I'm really starting to hate a lot of things. I mean HATE. We all need to start hating stuff and just run these companies out of business. They buy cheap, they get cheap, they sell it to us "cheap" and then stand around pretending to be shocked by their actions as we start dropping like flies. Like it's all China's fault! Dammit!

Dave just bought a lead-testing kit online. I've got to test my handbags. I have to get rid of the ones that aren't safe. THIS IS VERY ANNOYING. MY FAVORITE PURPLE HANDBAG COULD BE THE DEATH OF ME.

The Great White Whale

There are plenty of people out there who see eBay rise in the east every morning before stepping out of bed. They waltz with it throughout the day. And they watch it set in the west before snuggling up to it in bed every night. People whose lives revolve around eBay can't even drive down the road or take a crap without looking at eBay on their Blackberry mobile device.

EBay is probably the biggest online "sucker" store. People who suckle eBay are like the leeches that suck from the killer whales in the great Pacific. And Mr. Whale, as big as he is, will go merrily along and humor the peons who are living off the "thrill" of his fat.

Don't get me wrong, I like eBay for its unique quality. I liked it in its beginning stages when it seemed more purposeful. You can find things on eBay that you had when you were a kid and sometimes you can find things you wouldn't be able to find elsewhere, like Dolly Pops or Weeble Wobbles.

What I don't like about eBay is the excessive greed that it has become. It's the place where EVERYBODY goes. You can even bid on laxatives and condoms here. Anyone heard of prune juice? Are we too modest? You can buy these things at your local market without much hassle.

Everybody would prefer to leave the other guys in the dust when it comes to consumerism. Lots of people don't even bother with other online stores unless its Amazon. All these senseless zombies see eBay swirling within the irises of their eyes every time they need or want something online. It's sort of like the Wal-Mart of the Internet. People who shop in one place have a paradoxically lazy yet, crazed one-track mind. They think they're saving money but their motive is really set for more, not less.

I don't know what's fun about going neck to neck with someone over a used book.

These leeches who think they're getting a deal are addicted to buying. They're also addicted to making someone else feel lousy who is bidding on the same thing. How do I know? I'm one of 'em. I was recently in the market for a used book. This morning I realized my bid of $7 had been surpassed to $10. What was my first thought? Forget it. But then I had a nasty thought of going back and bidding $10.50 just to show that last bidder who is boss.

Don't tell me others not only get caught up in the greed of wanting something but really wanting it to the point of nastiness and senselessness. If I had bid $10.50 this morning, most certainly someone else would have bid $11 with 10 hours left before closing bid.

Sure the used price is competitive, but it's used. Why would anyone bid more than $10 for a used book when they can get it new for the same price?

EBay is good for some things like old nostalgic toys or gadgets. However, in my opinion, if online stores like eBay or Amazon are always the answer to your needs, there's a good chance that you're not spending money wisely. Spending wisely, no matter what it is, requires some effort and patience. Sometimes it means, dare I say it? Doing without.